Let Me Count. . .

. . . the alternatives. . .

(from http://www.noneexist.com/preachingtothechoir/index.htm)
“Kicking at an open door?”
“Giving the fish swimming lessons?”
“Recruiting your own members?”
“Persuading the convinced?”
“Convincing fish to swim?”
“Cheering to the pep squad?”
“Lecturing to the faculty?”
“Singing to the band?”
“Selling tuxedos to penguins?”
“You’re trying to open an open door.”
“Lighting the lamp at noon?”
“Explaining logic to Vulcans?”
“Selling whiskey to Jack Daniels?”
“Purring with the cats?
“Carrying coals to Newcastle?”
“Selling milk to a cow?”
“Teaching dogs to bark?”
“Calling your baby cute?”
“Campaigning to the convention?”
“Teaching monkeys how to eat bananas?”
“Campaigning to the candidate?”
“You’re selling past the close.” Or “Selling past the close?”
“Selling to the sold?”
“Flashing the nudist colony?”
“Seducing the willing and eager?”
“Kicking at an open door?”
“Giving the fish swimming lessons?”
“Recruiting your own members?”
“Persuading the convinced?”
“Convincing fish to swim?”
“Cheering to the pep squad?”
“Lecturing to the faculty?”
“Singing to the band?”
“Selling tuxedos to penguins?”
“You’re trying to open an open door.”
“Lighting the lamp at noon?”
“Explaining logic to Vulcans?”
“Selling whiskey to Jack Daniels?”
“Purring with the cats?
“Carrying coals to Newcastle?”
“Selling milk to a cow?”
“Teaching dogs to bark?”
“Calling your baby cute?”
“Campaigning to the convention?”
“Teaching monkeys how to eat bananas?”
“Campaigning to the candidate?”
“You’re selling past the close.” Or “Selling past the close?”
“Selling to the sold?”
“Flashing the nudist colony?”
“Seducing the willing and eager?”

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More. . .

 

 . . . from the "IS THIS NEWS?" department. . .

(By M. Alex Johnson, Staff Writer, NBC News)
Deriding President Barack Obama as the weakest president "in my adult lifetime," former Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld called on the White House on Tuesday to fish or cut bait in Syria.

Rumsfeld said there could be no middle ground in Syria: "You either ought to change the regime, or you ought to do nothing," he said during a question-and-answer session after a lecture at the Gerald R. Ford Presidential Museum in Grand Rapids, Mich.

In his customarily colorful way, Rumsfeld, 81, picked away at Obama for declaring last week that any U.S. response to Syria's alleged use of chemical weapons against its own people wouldn't target President Bashar Assad.

"Why would you go in and fire a shot across the bow?" asked Rumsfeld, who served as Ford's defense secretary during the 1970s and again as head of President George W. Bush's Pentagon during the planning for the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan in the early 2000s.

"All it does is make a splash, and ... what you've probably achieved is the embarrassment of the United States for being feckless and ineffective," he said.

Rumsfeld also accused Obama of cutting Secretary of State John Kerry off at the knees after Kerry made a "compelling and persuasive" case for strong military action in Syria last week — only for Obama to later say any U.S. response in Syria would be a "limited, narrow act."

"The president is not, in my view, providing the kind of leadership that I think almost any president in my adult lifetime would be providing," he said.

"You have to have a vision, Rumsfeld said. "You have to know what you're going to do, and you have to provide the kind of leadership the commander in chief would provide."

Despite all of his statements, when asked what guidance he would give on the Syrian situation, however, Rumsfeld did admit, "I'm glad I don't have to give advice to be honest with you."

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My latest release, Black & White Then Back,
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Does Humor. . .

. . . belong on doormats?

(from a doormat tag from High Cotton, Inc., Bluffton, SC)
"Important things you should know about your new doormat

Warning: Do not use mat as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury.  When using mat, follow directions:  Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about.  This mat is not designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000 lbs.  If mat begins to smoke, immediately seek shelter and cover head.  Caution:  If coffee spills on mat, assume that it is very hot.  This mat is not intended to be used as a placemat.  Small food particles trapped in fibers may attract rodents and other vermin. Do not glue mat to porous surfaces, such as pregnant women, pets and heavy machinery.  When not in use, mat should be kept out of reach of children diagnosed with CFED (Compulsive Fiber Eating Disorder). Do not taunt mat.  Failure to comply relieves the maker of this doormat, Simply Precious Home Decor, and its parent company, High Cotton, Inc., of any and all liability."

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Juvenal . . .

. . . kind-of. . . 

OHO - SEPTEMBER 6, 2013

(Paraphrasing Roman satirist and poet Juvenal )… The population has become complacent and easily satisfied with the mundane — everything, now restrains itself and anxiously hopes for just THREE things:

BREAD and CIRCUSES and . . . OHO
                                                                                                                             
Music begins at 8:00 (on the patio)
or, in the case of less-than-desirable weather, at 9:00 (in the restaurant)

Bread & Circuses Bistro
27 E. Chesapeake Avenue
Towson, MD  21286
410-337-5282
http://bandcbistro.com/

Jay Graboski, David Reeve and Ray Jozwiak are OHO
Also visit http://www.ohomusic.com

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My latest release, Black & White Then Back,
can be downloaded digitally at:

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Thinking. . .

It makes me think of all the beautiful music I've heard
And brings to mind a kind of paradise
It just may be some kind of wonderland magically
Still don't know how this fortune came to me
All the things I see

When I hear the sound of your voice
When I hear the sound of your voice

If feels to me like warmth from sitting in front of a fire
Light of my life you always show the way
Gleam in your eye a spark igniting the fire inside
Burning so bright the way I feel for you
It's like a dream come true

When I hear the sound of your voice
When I hear the sound of your voice

All of my being depends upon you
That's for sure
You're my refuge in a stormy sea
The sun above that shines on me
I thought that love such as this could be found
Only in movies
Just like searching for a pot of gold
Follow the rainbow and do what you're told

Just when you think it's all been said and it's been done before
Should I explain how you're affecting me
It's not control it's more an influence over my soul
Covering all like colors brilliantly
Canvas brush palette three

When I hear the sound of your voice
When I hear the sound of your voice


YOUR VOICE
©1998 Raymond M. Jozwiak





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If I Were. . .

. . . the Pope . . .

Yeah. I said the Pope.  Don't know why, but I dreamed the other night that I was elected Pope (and I don't recall that I was even running).  Well, actually I do know why I dreamed I was elected Pope.
I recently read "In God's Name: An Investigation Into the Murder of Pope John Paul I" by David Yallop and am in the midst of "Illustrissimi: The Letters of Pope John Paul I" by Albino Luciani.
Not that by any stretch of the imagination do these things qualify me for the office of Pope.  Obviously tuna salad with extra onion and two boiler-makers do indeed qualify me to DREAM that I have attained the office of Pope.

The first action that I took in my new position, if I recall the dream correctly, was RUN.  I'm not sure why I ran nor why I was being chased.  But run I did.  And all the while I was pondering the great changes that I will make as the new Pope.  I almost made sense that I was being chased in light of the radical nature of those changes.  

Not sure if I would have been a good Pope. . . or a BAD one. . .

. . . but then we'll never really know.  Will we?

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My latest release, Black & White Then Back,
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Super. . .

(from wikipedia.com)
"Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound! ("Look! Up in the sky!" "It's a bird!" "It's a plane!" "It's Superman!")... Yes, it's Superman ... strange visitor from another planet, who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men! Superman ... who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel in his bare hands, and who, disguised as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter for a great metropolitan newspaper, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice, and the American way! And now, another exciting episode, in the Adventures of Superman!"


Unfortunately for we who live in 2013 American, 'truth, justice and the American way' is now an oxymoron.

What do you think?
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My latest release, Black & White Then Back,
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