Showing posts with label mat. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mat. Show all posts

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Does Humor. . .

. . . belong on doormats?



(from a doormat tag from High Cotton, Inc., Bluffton, SC)
"Important things you should know about your new doormat

Warning: Do not use mat as a projectile. Sudden acceleration to dangerous speeds may cause injury.  When using mat, follow directions:  Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about.  This mat is not designed to sustain gross weight exceeding 12,000 lbs.  If mat begins to smoke, immediately seek shelter and cover head.  Caution:  If coffee spills on mat, assume that it is very hot.  This mat is not intended to be used as a placemat.  Small food particles trapped in fibers may attract rodents and other vermin. Do not glue mat to porous surfaces, such as pregnant women, pets and heavy machinery.  When not in use, mat should be kept out of reach of children diagnosed with CFED (Compulsive Fiber Eating Disorder). Do not taunt mat.  Failure to comply relieves the maker of this doormat, Simply Precious Home Decor, and its parent company, High Cotton, Inc., of any and all liability."






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