My Ego . . .

Sometimes I can get my point across
And I do it rather well
You can see
What I think
About me

It's just my ego
It gets the best of me
It's just my ego
It's just my ego
It just won't let me be
It just won't let me be alone
It's not one of my most redeeming qualities
Still though it serves me rather well sometimes
It won't be easy to just let it go
It's just my ego

I take such great pride in what I do
Everyone should take some too
Don't you think
Pride in me
Not in you

It's just my ego
It gets the best of me
It's just my ego
It's just my ego
It just won't let me be
It just won't let me be alone
It's not one of my most redeeming qualities
Still though it serves me rather well sometimes
It won't be easy to just let it go
It's just my ego

There's a fine distinction between confidence and pride
There's a fine distinction that I'll never know
Cloaked with some discretion you emerge from the inside
I emerge in all my glory
What is there to hide

Mother said that I would never make
Any friends if I don't see
What I'm like
If I don't lose some pride

It's just my ego
It gets the best of me
It's just my ego
It's just my ego
It just won't let me be
It just won't let me be alone
It's not one of my most redeeming qualities
Still though it serves me rather well sometimes
It won't be easy to just let it go
It's just my ego


My Ego
©2002 Raymond M. Jozwiak

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Cut . . .

. . . the rug. . .


. . . and then, I learned to dance.  Not literally.  Well, yes literally.  Not that I am a good dancer or that I dance frequently.  But the figurative dancing came eventually. Throughout my middle and high school years, I remained the awkward, chubby and uncomfortable person that I was in elementary school with only slightly improved self-esteem and confidence.  Some social skills, if you will, were developed. I essentially chose my 'crowd', said very little, agreed with (and to) quite a lot, and in essence, slowly learned to 'dance'. . .




Cut The Rug
©2017 Raymond M. Jozwiak

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Lincoln . . .

(from http://www.brainyquote.com/photos/a/abrahamlincoln151232.jpg)
I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends.

No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth.

A house divided against itself cannot stand.

I want it said of me by those who knew me best, that I always plucked a thistle and planted a flower where I thought a flower would grow.

When I hear a man preach, I like to see him act as if he were fighting bees.

To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets, but peaceful ballots only, are necessary.

These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert to fleece the people; and now that they have got into a quarrel with themselves, we are called upon to appropriate the people's money to settle the quarrel.

He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.

At what point then is the approach of danger to be expected? I answer, if it ever reach us, it must spring up amongst us. It cannot come from abroad. If destruction be our lot, we must ourselves be its author and finisher. As a nation of freemen, we must live through all time, or die by suicide.

When I am getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.

If once you forfeit the confidence of your fellow-citizens, you can never regain their respect and esteem.

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Saying . . .

. . . it is easier than accomplishing it (Confidence) . . .and although it took me much longer than I presume it takes most people, it's coming along fine thank you . . .



(from http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/self-confidence)
“Don't be satisfied with stories, how things have gone with others. Unfold your own myth.”
― Rumi, The Essential Rumi

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.”
― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

“We are always the same age inside. ”
― Gertrude Stein

“When you're different, sometimes you don't see the millions of people who accept you for what you are. All you notice is the person who doesn't.”
― Jodi Picoult, Change of Heart

“When someone tells me "no," it doesn't mean I can't do it, it simply means I can't do it with them.”
― Karen E. Quinones Miller

“Success is most often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.”
― Coco Chanel, Believing in Ourselves: The Wisdom of Women

“Believe you can and you're halfway there.”
― Theodore Roosevelt

“Because one believes in oneself, one doesn't try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn't need others' approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.”
― Lao Tzu

“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.”
― Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, Faust: First Part

“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that... I believe in what I do, and I'll say it.”
― John Lennon

“The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.”
― Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

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(and, if you're in town, at Trax On Wax on Frederick Rd. in Catonsville, MD) OHO is Jay Graboski, David Reeve & Ray Jozwiak.  Please Visit http://www.ohomusic.com 


My latest solo offering, Just More Music by Ray Jozwiak, featuring original, instrumental piano music is now available at - Just More Music by Ray Jozwiak

(To Access all Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano music you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
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More Confidence. . .

Granted, I did and DO love playing music.  Make no mistake.  And the band REFLECTION (my very first, actual, money-making (dare I say, "Semi-Professional") band) did, as does any living, growing thing, EVOLVE.  First our guitarist Keith moved to another band, an earthshaking experience for the drummer Bruce and myself at the time.  We were just getting musically comfortable with ourselves as a unit and finding a fair amount of work.  I don't now for the life of me remember how he did it, but our drummer Bruce and I connected with Eddie (saxophones and flute),  Rick (trumpet) and Rick H. (guitar).  Since one out of two Ricks and Eddie were music students at the local university, our approach to music became a bit more academic with the use of arrangements, charts, some jazz inflections and the addition of some newer, current songs;  even one or two by Chicago- one of my favorites.  I was doubling as an occasional substitute in Keith's new band and working on arrangements and trying to secure gigs with REFLECTION at the same time.  (It's good to be in demand!)

Keith's new band was a kind of an ever-changing, depending upon the availability of individual players at any time, musical ensemble whose nucleus consisted of the drummer (who was the 'leader') John, Keith on guitar, Randy on trumpet and an intense young alto saxophonist named Ted. The band was loose, but flexible, and frequently delivered quite musical and crowd-pleasing renditions of rocking (or alternately, swinging) cover tunes to very appreciative (and sometimes, dispositionally well-lubricated) audiences. While the weakest link was quite possibly the leader, Randy and Ted were attractive and charismatic front-men doubling on vocals as well as their chosen axes. In short, a good time was (mostly) had by the band and most every gig.

Ted and I played occasional gigs outside of that band and although we were not extremely close friends, I came to view him as a hip, congenial mentor and friend. Driving to one gig in particular, I recall, Ted and I were discussing various musicians we had experienced and he referred to Randy as a 'bitch' trumpet player.  I was taken aback in that I hadn't heard that terminology before. Further into the conversation he also said I was a 'bitch' keyboardist. Almost hurt at first, I soon 'connected the dots' based upon his classifying Randy, whom I know he appreciated and admired, with myself and came to the conclusion that being a 'bitch' player was, indeed, a good thing!   And as a result of my good friend Ted, my confidence increased substantially that very day. (Ted even had me sit in with his top-notch top-40 band awhile later for which we played Satin Doll which was a thrill, I must say, and did not inflict any damage upon that developing confidence either.)

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OHO's "Ocean City Ditty," the CD single is now available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/oho4
(and, if you're in town, at Trax On Wax on Frederick Rd. in Catonsville, MD) OHO is Jay Graboski, David Reeve & Ray Jozwiak

My latest solo release, '2014' of original, instrumental piano music, can be downloaded digitally at:

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The Artist . . .

". . . A real artist is not one who has taken up art as his profession, but a man predestined and foredoomed to it; and such an artist can be picked out from a crowd by anyone with the slightest perspicacity.  You can read in his face that he is a man apart, a man who does not belong, who feels that he is recognized and is being watched; there is somehow an air of royalty about him and at the same time an air of embarrassment.  A prince walking incognito among the people wears a rather similar expression.  But the incognito doesn't work, Lisaveta!  Disguise yourself, put on civilian costume, dress up like an attache or a guards lieutenant on leave-you will hardly have raised your eyes and uttered a word before everyone will know that you are not a human being but something strange, something alien, something different . . .

"But what is an artist? I know of no other question to which human complacency and incuriosity has remained so impervious.  'That sort of thing is a gift,' say average decent folk humbly, when a work of art has produced its intended effect upon them, and because in the goodness of their hearts they assume that exhilarating and noble effects must necessarily have exhilarating and noble causes, it never enters their heads that the origins of this so-called 'gift' may well be extremely dubious and extremely disreputable. . . . It's well know that artists are easily offended; and it's also well know that this is not usually the case with people who have a good conscience and solidly grounded self-confidence. . . "
(from Death in Venice by Thomas Mann)

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OHO's "Ocean City Ditty," the CD single is now available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/oho4
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My latest solo release, '2014' of original, instrumental piano music, can be downloaded digitally at:

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The Difference. . .

. . . between. . .

. . . self-confidence and egotism is very fine.  Self-confidence is, in truth, ego but with some restraint whereas egotism is demonstrated externally.

There is no better illustration of this difference than that of musicians.  And adding insult to injury is the musician who possesses egotism in an amount disproportionate to their actual talent.


My Ego
© 1997 Raymond M. Jozwiak




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Success. . .

I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
-Jonathan Winters

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
― Winston Churchill

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
― Confucius

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure. ”
― Mark Twain

“A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do.”
― Bob Dylan

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”
― Leonardo da Vinci

“Eighty percent of success is showing up.”
― Woody Allen

“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much; who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it; who has always looked for the best in others and given the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.”
- Bessie A. Stanley

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Quote. . .

. . . from Bertrand Russell confronted me today. . .

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser men so full of doubts.”

. . . which really struck me.  In the past twenty-some years that I have been writing and attempting to market (in some form or fashion) original material, it occurred to me that this is exactly what stopped me from starting this process much, much earlier.  So after reading this Russell gem, I believe that it was actually not insecurity that prevented me from jumping head first into a musical pursuit, it was actually wisdom.

But to take this another step, I always felt that wisdom comes with age, simply because the longer one lives, the more experience he attains by virtue of mere longevity.  But if what Russell says is true, my late-found self-confident could be nothing more than foolishness.

. . . or could there be a happy middle-ground in there somewhere?

 

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