Never . . .

Problem is, I didn't do it
When he was around
For whatever reason
My own discomfort
My excuses about the time
My self-consciousness
My lack of 'closeness' to him

And now I can only speak to the cosmos
With the knowledge that
While my words are not in vain
There is no mortal being there
To receive, comprehend and accept
Any thoughts, words, comfort or appreciation

But my breath is not wasted on the cosmos
My words are disbursed among the infinite intelligence,
consciousness or universal presence
So while it may seem to me
To be too late to offer anything
I hope, in my great deep-down,
That is really isn't
And I say to myself once again
As I always have in these situations
That I promise to never do that again


Too Long
©2018 Raymond M. Jozwiak

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Stream . . .

. . . of consciousness . . .



. . . what good to take a city if within, there's no one left alive . . .

. . . she's a sad little woman;  I'm a sad little man . . .

. . . we're a deeply flawed creation. . .

. . . I'm a bundle of undesired talent and ability . . .

. . . if you don't care to find some real and actual facts, you place your bet on the two-horse race and that is simply that . . .

. . . you and me;  we're not that much different . . .

. . . and like me, you've never been normal . . .


Days May Come
©2016 Raymond M. Jozwiak

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Next. . .

. . . in line

. . . to be read. . .  


(from "The Fourth Gospel: Tales of a Jewish Mystic" by John Shelby Spong)
". . . Throughout most of my professional career I was not drawn to the Fourth Gospel;  indeed I found it almost repellent. . . . Because this book was thought to have spelled out 'orthodox Christianity.'  John's gospel helped to fuel such dreadful events in Christian history as heresy hunts and the Inquisition. . . . [Eventually, though,] John's gospel began to unfold before me as a work of Jewish mysticism and the Jesus of John's gospel suddenly became not a visitor from another realm, but a person in whom a new God consciousness had emerged. . . . John's gospel is about life - expanded life, abundant life and ultimately eternal life - but not in the typical manner that these words have been understood religiously. . ."

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Sha-laa-la-la-la. . .

. . . let's live for today. . .

. . . the mortality reported in the entertainment, literature and business (motivation) worlds yesterday gives one pause, I would like to think.  At my age, mortality does enter the consciousness more often than in younger days.  But it doesn't have to be depressing.  It's just one of those things that has to happen no matter our aversion or distaste for it, like . . . Brussels sprouts or . . . American Idol.  (I didn't mean that.  I really do like Brussels sprouts.)

 So goodbye Kitty, Donald, Stephen, Bob and Jon.  You will be missed. And for those who won't be missed by quite as many, you will be missed by some every bit as deeply.

So as difficult as it may be, try to think about mortality every now and then;  yours as well as everyone else's.  Think about how natural and unavoidable it is.  Then remember . . . today, right now. . . . you are alive!

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A good friend . . .

. . . of mine was recently diagnosed with cancer. Like so many others, it began with a persistent pain in one place, source of which could not be identified. When it finally was identified, the cancer had metastasized to the lungs. In any case, this person is responding well to chemotherapy at this writing.

At the workplace of my friend, the staff has decided to hold a 'raffle' to assist with medical expenses. Tickets are $1.00 each, or 6 tickets for $5.00. Prizes of 1st place $250, 2nd $100 and 3rd $50 will be distributed with the remainder going to my friend. The explanatory memo concluded with, "Please be as generous as you can, and be reminded that, there but for the grace of God go you or I."

The tribal closing remark infuriated me. It implies to me that there is a 'God' who chose my friend to inflict cancer (punishment?) upon. And this 'God', in 'his' infinite wisdom and choice of my friend is 'merciful'(???) in NOT inflicting it upon ME and the author of the memo??? What could my good friend have done to piss this 'God' off so royally? Is this a 'God' of which YOU would want to have any part??? A theistic ‘God’ possessing such worthless ‘grace’, to me simply does not exist.

I prefer the consciousness of thinkers such as John Shelby Spong, Ernest Holmes, John A.T. Robinson and other more intellectually discriminating folks who view 'God' not as a theistic "man with a beard on a throne in a heaven", but instead as the ground of all being. This view of ‘God', though unbeknownst to the author of the 'raffle' memo, is precisely the thing that prompts her to help our friend in the first place. I can only wish that we didn't resort to primitive, tribal cliches in matters of life, death and God.




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