. . . While attending coed Catholic grade school, grades 1 through 8, one of my male classmates in particular, was always a favorite with the girls. No, I don't mean ONLY the 'popular' girls. Yes, those girls loved him also, but everyone loved this guy. Why, you may wonder? Well, he was tall (for his age, at least), handsome, athletically built (and inclined), charming, articulate and quite gregarious. My male classmates and I were truly impressed with his ability to engage so many of the coeds in apparently meaningful and entertaining conversation for extended periods of time. I, on the other hand at this age, found it very difficult to talk with GIRLS at a meaningful level for the most part, and for that reason found his skills to be particularly remarkable and admirable. At the same time, he had a comparable amount of male friends also as he was quite simply, very personable.
On one occasion, he volunteered (I did not even ask) his formula for being popular with the 'cool' girls. He told me that he, in effect, rehearsed with the uncool girls quite intentionally. The overweight, the homely, the shy and the unattractive were sought out by him quite intentionally yet unbeknownst to them, to be the recipients of this bon vivant's joie de vivre. And by adhering to the timeless principle that 'practice makes perfect', he developed the confidence to transfer his socializing techniques to the more attractive members of the student body. This, I and my less demonstrative friends thought at the time, was a marvelous thing, yet never actually made any serious attempt to implement his modus operandi ourselves. Incidentally, he did later marry a very jealous (justifiably?) woman and I've lost track of him.
Not sure why this whole thing occurred to me recently but it did and it also reminded me of bigotry, the connection being basic respect that each and every human being deserves from another. While I thought my friend's socializing pointers were pretty practical at the time, I now realize how self-serving and insensitive they were to the unsuspecting that he 'used' for his own gain. Personally, it seems like all I have to do is look another human being in the eye and I find it very difficult NOT to treat him/her with basic, human respect. There is something inexplicable in the eyes that conveys humanity. True bigotry is the inability to accord basic human respect to another. And EVERYONE deserves that respect no matter what they look like, whether they have as much material wealth as you or belong to the same social, religious or recreational 'clubs' as you, no matter what they weigh, how tall or short, color of their skin, sexual orientation, hair color, profession or lack thereof, taste in food, drink or music. Seems like a very simple thing. I don't believe that I am particularly commendable for doing it and I don't know why I do, but I just can't help it. It's in the eyes. That doesn't mean that I give money to every street/bag-person who asks me or that I have to strike up a meaningful conversation with anyone (or everyone). It simply means that I look them in the eye, and they generally look me in the eye as well with few exceptions, and I do feel something when confronting their gaze and I believe I owe them the courtesy of a civil, humane and hopefully a pleasant response.
download your
very own copy of
ANOTHER SHOT
by Ray Jozwiak
Please Visit
http://www.rayjozwiak.com
