On occasion when I'm alone, driving, waiting or otherwise alone with my thoughts, I find myself thinking about when my children were young and those memories conjure up a multitude of feelings and emotions. All of the sentimental (some more melodramatic than others) graduation ceremonies marking their progress through various stages of their young education, the birthday celebrations and the special occasions like the Sesame Street stage presentation or the circus. Some are thoroughly joyous - like those little faces on a Christmas morning when that day held such faithful anticipation. Some are just satisfyingly pleasant - like the daily drive to the daycare center when one rapscallion in the back seat munched his dry Cheerios from a plastic sandwich bag bathing the entire interior of the car in an oaty, fresh-baked goods aroma. Or even a helplessly alarming panic I experienced when all three of them (and one buddy) were in an automobile accident and called me at the office to inform me of the event. (No serious injuries fortunately.)
I remember equally well, when each of them reached the age of 'non-childhood' and no longer needed to relate the gory details of their schoolday, homework assignment or friend's attitude on a particular day and, although still willing to offer a hug, no longer required one from me on such a regular basis.
In fact, their rapidly maturing bodies no longer desired the intimate hug/cuddle/squeeze or whatever that was so meaningful (mutually) in the past. I missed that. But I understood and I got over it.
But that's okay. I loved every minute of it. Sometimes there were no other deep thoughts or enlightening perspectives but I was so totally absorbed in the moment that nothing else mattered. And you know, nothing else really did. But that, like all other things, passed and these fine young individuals matured and became wonderful young men.
And though I no longer need to drive anyone to daycare in a Cheerios-saturated automobile, I am still as committed as ever to the well-being of these guys, although my involvement now takes very different forms, because I truly and honestly believe that my job, my goal, my destiny, my highest and greatest purpose (NO EXCEPTIONS) is to ensure that these guys are happy, contented adult individuals. Any and everything else beyond that is just . . . gravy!
OHO's "Ocean City Ditty," the CD single is now available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/oho4
(and, if you're in town, at Trax On Wax on Frederick Rd. in Catonsville, MD) OHO is Jay Graboski, David Reeve & Ray Jozwiak. Please Visit http://www.ohomusic.com
My latest solo offering, Just More Music by Ray Jozwiak, featuring original, instrumental piano music is now available at - Just More Music by Ray Jozwiak
(To Access all Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano music you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser: http://http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/RayJozwiak)
(from Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys)
". . . Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months? And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their ......
"Roger," Elaine says aloud.
"What?" says Roger, startled.
"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have . . Oh, I feel so......"
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
"What?" says Roger.
"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."
"There's no horse?" says Roger.
"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.
"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
"It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time," Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
"Yes," he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
"Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.
"What way?" says Roger.
"That way about time," says Elaine.
"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
"Thank you, Roger," she says.
"Thank you," says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:
OHO's
"Ocean City Ditty," the
CD single is now available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/oho4
(and, if
you're in town, at Trax On Wax on Frederick Rd. in Catonsville, MD)
My latest solo release, '2014', can be digitally downloaded at:
(or you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/rayjozwiak4)
My brother-in-law came to the house last Sunday to watch a football game. He lives on the outskirts of the metropolitan area and is does not, as a result, have the games of our local NFL franchise available on his cable television broadcast schedule. Now this may sound like a very ordinary situation to you. Brother-in-law visits brother-in-law, the guys watch the game together with a few beers, maybe a pizza and pretzels, right?
Well most of it's right. The only wrong part of the picture is the 'guys' part, at least literally. You see, the two football fans that enjoyed the game together were my brother-in-law and my wife. My wife and my two younger sons are the only football fans in the family. Our eldest and myself would rather. . . be doing just about anything else. So as my wife and her brother were screaming at the television, I walked through the room. He said, "Ray, I guess you're not really interested in this game are you?" to which I responded, "You could tell, huh?" (not rudely, mind you.) To my brilliant remark he responded, "I guess you're the only normal one here."
What do YOU think? http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html
Download your very own copy of ANOTHER SHOT by Ray Jozwiak
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