Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

Simply . . .

. . . funny

(from https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/national-security/disaster-betrayal-mistake-republicans-slam-trump-s-syria-pull-out-n1063251)
". . . Trump . . . hit back against the torrent of criticism in a series of tweets in which he said he would "totally destroy and obliterate" Turkey's economy if the country "does anything that I, in my great and unmatched wisdom, consider to be off limits.". . ."





What do you think? Tell me at
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html  or at
http://www.ohomusic.com 


Other Ray Jozwiak Offerings

(To Access all Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano music you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser:  http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/RayJozwiak)

For all things "Gonzo Piano" please visit:
Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano on CD Baby.com
The Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano Website
The Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano You Tube Channel

For all things "OHO" please visit:
The OHO CD Baby.com Website
OHO Music Website
The 'More OHO Music' You Tube Website
The 'Original' OHO Music You Tube Website



Tuesday, June 4, 2019

Completed . . .

. . . the composition


How will we be remembered?
Will our names live on?
Will the seeds that we sowed
Reap the glorious fruit we intended?

Adulatory panegyrics
Vituperary insolence
Commendatory highly glowing complements
Enthusiastic lionizing
Discourteous ill-manneredness
Impertinence and disrespect

It’s so funny how interpretations are made
When the color’s transformed by each factor
In every foundation that’s laid

Why would I ask more?
Why even ask at all?
Self-indulgence?
One higher purpose
I had in mind

All the years
All the times
All events that have all transpired now
Seem impotent
At the least, weakened
Things that we fought for so long ago


Insolence
©2019 Raymond M. Jozwiak



What do you think?
Tell me at
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html  or at
http://www.ohomusic.com 


Other Ray Jozwiak Offerings



(To Access all Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano music you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser:  http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/RayJozwiak)

Get your copy of OHO's  Where Words Do Not Reach now!
Watch The Ocean City Ditty Video on YouTube
Also, be sure to visit: www.rayjozwiak.com and www.ohomusic.com


Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Just Plain . . .


. . . funny


(from http://www.edrants.com/in-defense-of-chrissie-hynde-why-npr-needs-to-change-and-why-david-greene-is-a-sexist-fool/, an NPR interview by David Greene with Chrissie Hyde)
". . . Greene: People certainly thought in its day [sic] as being very different and really emboldening women.
Hynde: Okay, well I’m not here to embolden anyone.
From here, the NPR producer cuts away in aloof and hilarious fashion to a lengthy clip of “Brass in Pocket” to pad out time, leaving the listener wondering what embarrassing (and possibly more interesting) bits were left on the cutting room floor. . . If Greene had truly been interested in Hynde, he might have described her in less innocuous and truer terms. Moreover, Greene can’t even deign to praise the Pretenders. Instead, he gushes over the Rolling Stones rather than the band that Hynde has been a member of:
Greene: And the Rolling Stones. They came — I mean, I, I loved reading about how you sort of took some of the staging off to take it with you, almost as a souvenir.
Hynde: Yeah. Do you want me to repeat the story?
Greene: I’d love you to.
Hynde: Is that the question?
Greene: No. I’d love you to.
Hynde: Can I just not repeat the stories that I’ve already said in the book? Can we talk about things outside of that? Is that possible? I don’t want to do a book reading, as it were. . ."






What do you think?
Tell me at
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html  or at
http://www.ohomusic.com 


Other Ray Jozwiak Offerings

(To Access all Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano music you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser:  http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/RayJozwiak)

Get your copy of OHO's  Where Words Do Not Reach now!
Watch The Ocean City Ditty Video on YouTube
Also, be sure to visit: www.rayjozwiak.com and www.ohomusic.com


Friday, April 21, 2017

Funny . . .

. . . farm
. . . administration. . .


(from http://www.politicususa.com/2017/01/19/jeff-sessions-believes-amendment-separation-clause-unconstitutional.html)
". . . Jeff Sessions, sincerely believes, and had no qualms saying out loud that the “Establishment Clause” in the U.S. Constitution is “unconstitutional.” Sessions, an evangelical extremist, also said that the separation of church and state is “an extra-constitutional doctrine” and a “recent thing that is unhistorical and unconstitutional.” . . . However, the real historical figure, Founding Father and third President of the United States Thomas Jefferson plainly explained in writing that: “I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should ‘make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,’ thus building a wall of separation between Church & State.”. . . "





What do you think?
Tell me at
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html  or at
http://www.ohomusic.com 

My latest solo offering, No Frills, is now available at - No Frills

(To Access all Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano music you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser:  http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/RayJozwiak)

Get your copy of OHO's  Where Words Do Not Reach now!
The Ocean City Ditty Video is now on YouTube
Also, be sure to visit: www.rayjozwiak.com and www.ohomusic.com


Monday, April 10, 2017

You Couldn't . . .

. . . make up . . .
. . . this stuff . . .



(from https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/d/donald_trump.html)
The point is that you can't be too greedy.

You know the funny thing, I don't get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people.

Everything in life is luck.

I'm the Ernest Hemingway of 140 characters.

People love me. And you know what, I have been very successful. Everybody loves me.

If you get good ratings, they'll cover you even if you have nothing to say.

We need a president with tremendous intelligence, smarts, cunning, strength and stamina.




What do you think?
Tell me at
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html  or at
http://www.ohomusic.com 

My latest solo offering, No Frills, is now available at - No Frills

(To Access all Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano music you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser:  http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/RayJozwiak)

Get your copy of OHO's  Where Words Do Not Reach now!
The Ocean City Ditty Video is now on YouTube
Also, be sure to visit: www.rayjozwiak.com and www.ohomusic.com


Tuesday, January 5, 2016

What's So Funny . . .

. . . (to paraphrase Nick Lowe) about facts, good sense and understanding . . .


(from Outsider in the White House by Bernie Sanders with Huck Gutman)
". . . The problem . . . is that groups representing the wealthiest people in this country are able to decisively influence the legislative process so that public policy reflects the interest of the privileged few and not the needs of the general population.  And if you don't understand this simple fact, you haven't a clue as to what politics in America is all about. . . "






What do you think?
Tell me at
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html  or at
http://www.ohomusic.com 

Get your copy of OHO's  Where Words Do Not Reach now!

The Ocean City Ditty Video is now on YouTube

My latest solo offering, Just More Music by Ray Jozwiak, featuring original, instrumental piano music is now available at - Just More Music by Ray Jozwiak

(To Access all Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano music you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser:  http://http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/RayJozwiak)

Also, be sure to visit:
http://www.rayjozwiak.com



 PIANOGONZOLOGY - Blogged My 
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Thursday, March 12, 2015

Don't Jump . . .

. . . to conclusions . . . 

 . . . about women from the great state of Alaska based on that Palin person.


Comedian Hailey Boyle is living proof of the good that Alaska is capable of producing. . . and the funny too.

You can see her opening for Ralphie May, Thursday, Friday and Saturday (March 19, 20 & 21)
at:

Magoobys Joke House
9603 Deereco Road
Timonium, MD 21093
View Map
Phone: 410-252-2727
Email: magoobys@magoobys.com








What do you think?
Tell me at
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html  or at
http://www.ohomusic.com 


OHO's "Ocean City Ditty," the CD single is now available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/oho4
(and, if you're in town, at Trax On Wax on Frederick Rd. in Catonsville, MD) OHO is Jay Graboski, David Reeve & Ray Jozwiak.  Please Visit http://www.ohomusic.com 


My latest solo offering, Just More Music by Ray Jozwiak, featuring original, instrumental piano music will be released April 7, 2014  Just More Music by Ray Jozwiak
(To Access all Ray Jozwiak - Gonzo Piano music you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser:  http://http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/RayJozwiak)

Also, be sure to visit:
http://www.rayjozwiak.com



 PIANOGONZOLOGY - Blogged My 
Zimbio

Sunday, September 7, 2014

Time To Jump . . .

. . . on the Joan Rivers bandwagon (I don't generally jump on them, you know), yes indeed!.  (Hey, isn't that what everyone in media is supposed to do now?)


 No disrespect intended, I assure you.  I can also assure you there will be NO Ray Jozwiak bandwagon to jump on at all when I go . . . but I digress.

Joan Rivers has been visible to me ever since I knew what a television was. I thought she was funny. She was, in fact, always funny.  Never lost it. I'm not sure what to say about all the plastic surgery. . . it's all already been said anyway.  But hey, she didn't hurt anyone.  What can I say about "E" and making your schtick criticizing how people dress.  I can say, I never watched her there.  In summary, a strain, talented woman who was successful in a very tough (and also a "Man's") business.  I respect that. I respect that in much the same way as I respect Madonna's (or GaGa's - is THAT how you spell it?) business savvy even though I don't buy their music.

On her preferences for a funeral service . . .
"I want craft services, I want paparazzi and I want publicists making a scene! I want it to be Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying, in five different accents. I don’t want a eulogy; I want Bobby Vinton to pick up my head and sing “Mr. Lonely.” I want to look gorgeous, better dead than I do alive. I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag. And I want a wind machine so that even in the casket my hair is blowing just like Beyoncé’s."
– Joan Rivers





What do you think?
Tell me at
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html

OHO's "Ocean City Ditty," the CD single is now available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/oho4
(and, if you're in town, at Trax On Wax on Frederick Rd. in Catonsville, MD) OHO is Jay Graboski, David Reeve & Ray Jozwiak

My latest solo release, '2014' of original, instrumental piano music, can be downloaded digitally at:

Ray Jozwiak: 2014

(or you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser:  http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/rayjozwiak4)

Also, be sure to visit:
http://www.rayjozwiak.com

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Tuesday, March 4, 2014

To Dude Or Not To Dude . . .

. . . is that really a question? . . . anyway . . .



Created by Hailey Boyle on January 31, 2014
LOS ANGELES, CA Creative Arts, Music, Film
The Basics: After 11 years I am finally recording a comedy album. "FUNNY LIKE A DUDE" will be recorded live at The Glasgow International Comedy Festival this March (details below) and will be released in May 2014. Meanwhile I have theater rentals for the previews, sound guy, video guy, editing guy, plane tickets, train tickets, and maybe if I'm real lucky a shirt off the clearance rack with no holes in it. So if you know you want my album you can donate now, and when it comes out I send you the greatest comedy album of all time! Basically it's like when I wanted to make shirts. That worked out awesome by the way, thank you guys! I am much more financially stable now that I have shirts to fluff up my income on the road and I could not have done it without your generosity.
Lots of folks have asked me why I don't have an album already. The answer is because I want all of my albums to be kick ass. 1 hour of material doesn't necessarily mean 1 album for me. Lately as I have more chances to headline and I realized that my favorite jokes, the ones I really love, now run about an hour and 15 minutes or more. So now is the time. Like to over analyze stuff? Me too! That's why I wrote the next few paragraphs, so enjoy.
The Back story: I think the reason so much of my new material is becoming my favorite material is because I am at a really cool phase in my life. I am old enough now that people are no longer wondering when I'm gonna have a baby (never), or when I am getting married (it doesn't matter cause you're not invited anyway), and it has been ages since somebody tried to talk me into going back to college. It's a great time to be me huh? I also feel like the last year has been a big one as far as starting to comprehend my own personal responsibility for the impact of my comedy. Now I'm using my brilliant dick jokes to change the world for the better. Also I may be suffering from delusions of grandeur. But speaking of personal responsibility, I should probably explain the album title.
I'm calling the album FUNNY LIKE A DUDE because that has been my little slogan since I started comedy. It has always said FUNNY LIKE A DUDE SINCE 1979 on my business cards. It's a tricky little phrase. It's not very feminist, a fact I have been side stepping by being a dick about it. "It's a statement ON feminism" I would say like a giant gaping asshole, "but forgive yourself, it is very subtle". Spoken like a true self loather. I know I haven't always been fair to women, and I am working on that. I also know that I don't believe that separate can ever be equal. Take the WNBA. I have nothing but respect for those women, but it's not fair to pretend it's like the NBA. The NBA, not the MNBA. I just feel like the job is the job and the bar should be the bar. Gender should be irrelevant. I don't know how many, if any of the women of the WNBA would be in the NBA if they were eligible, but I bet the number would grow in relation to the number of years little girls grew up believing they could be in the NBA. BOOM! Mind blown. Back to me. Right now the most common compliment I get as a comic is that I have met/exceeded the expectations the complimentor has for men. I didn't think women were funny but you were hilarious. You are my favorite female comic. It's a catch 22! On one hand I get mad at them for saying female, not comic, and on the other hand I'm mad at me for feeling like female is an insult. Those are both bad, dirty hands. When I moved to NYC to be a comic 10 years ago I learned fast that if I wanted to get on a show the fastest way was to say I was funny like a dude, thus saying I am actually funny, and probably won't complain about your sexism as I am also a sexist. Not very cool on my part, not very cool on societies part, not fair to the women who came before or will come after me. It's all around lame that those words that got me the chance to show that I am truly talented probably cost other women the chance to show what they can do. This year has been about a shift for me. From a woman that thought standing up for myself was enough, to a woman who thinks standing up for equality is more important than protecting herself. It is a process, and I have just begun. At first I thought that being a feminist meant I had to support all women, be on the side of the sisterhood or what have you. Turns out feminism is really just another word for equality and I know I like that. I don't have to like all women to be a feminist, I have to respect all life. I have to make an effort not to perpetuate the behavior I have been a victim of. I have to try to be fair, which does not come natural for me. I have spent 34 years looking down on other women, and to be perfectly honest, it is still my default setting. Luckily some terrible things happened this year and for the first time I had to look at my roll in making the world less fair, less just, and less productive. I wrote a blog you can read here http://haileymailogram.wordpress.com/ and got a lot of crap for it. I got rape shamed and called a bunch of names but I also started being a better citizen because of it. I have a long way to go just to fix myself, but I'm hoping since the whole thing is making for some great jokes that my "journey" if you will, could inspire some other folks to start trying to do better themselves. Pretending I am a perfect feminist or that I have always been one doesn't help anybody. Admitting that it is a struggle and I have to work at it just might do some good. So the album is called FUNNY LIKE A DUDE cause I have been saying it for 11 years and now I am gonna talk about it instead of pretending it never happened.
The taping itself will be on Saturday March 22nd at The Glasgow International Comedy Festival. This is my third time touring Scotland and Glasgow happens to be my favorite city in all the world to do comedy. I'm told that this is odd because it is mainly industrial and known as the stabbing capitol of the world, but I feel very happy there indeed. I love the comedy community there and the way people regard comedy as an art and a skill, which it is. When I got booked for this festival the first time I had lost faith in my ability. I felt that as a woman who lacked extreme sex appeal I had no place in the world and I would even say that booking saved my life. It seems perfectly fitting now that my first album should be recorded in Glasgow, surrounded by the very women that reminded me that being female doesn't mean anything outside a medical office unless I believe it does. Thank you so much for your support!Additional dates and cities TBA





What do you think?
Tell me at
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html 

OHO's "Ocean City Ditty," the CD single is now available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/oho4 (and, if you're in town, at Trax On Wax on Frederick Rd. in Catonsville, MD). 

My latest solo release, Black & White Then Back,
can be downloaded digitally at:

Ray Jozwiak: Black & White Then Back

(or you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser:  http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/rayjozwiak3)

Also, be sure to visit:
http://www.rayjozwiak.com

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Monday, April 29, 2013

Two Gems. . .


#1
"Republican comes in the dictionary just after reptile and just above repugnant."
-Julia Roberts

#2
"Being Liberal Means Being A Hypocrite"
-https://www.facebook.com/pages/Being-Liberal-means-Being-a-Hypocrite/183504651660453


While both statements are hilariously funny, particularly to those leaning opposite the position of which the fun is being made, both statements have much in common, one of which is being an over-simplified, inaccurate generalization of a very large, diverse group.

But the most glaring and relevant quality these statements share is:

 BOTH ARE COUNTERPRODUCTIVE!!





What do you think?
Tell me at  
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html

My latest release, Black & White Then Back,
can be downloaded digitally at:
Ray Jozwiak: Black & White Then Back

(or you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser:  http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/rayjozwiak3)

Also, be sure to visit:
http://www.rayjozwiak.com

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Thursday, March 21, 2013

Funny. . .

. . . but not for the timid. . . 

Hailey Boyle has been funny like a dude since 1979. A rising star on the New York comedy circuit after her transplant from Fairbanks Alaska to Manhattan in 2004, she was a regular at Caroline’s on Broadway before relocating to Los Angeles in 2010 and tours clubs and colleges all over the country. Hailey has been named one of New York’s Top Ten Funniest at The New York Comedy Festival, and has been featured in The New York Daily News and UK entertainment magazine The List. A hit at the Glasgow Comedy Festival, Hailey is planning her third Scottish comedy tour for spring  2014.

    Hailey was also honored to entertain American soldiers on active duty in Greenland, The Bahamas, and Central America this past spring and looks forward to performing anywhere our heroes are stationed until they all come home. Now, fresh off her first feature film (About Last Night starring Kevin Hart) Hailey also had her TV Stand-Up debut this year on the TV GUIDE Network's "'Stand Up In Stilettos". Her blend of down home humor and big city wit are earning Hailey Boyle acclaim across the nation and around the world!





What do YOU think?
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html

You can NOW download your
very own copy of Ray Jozwiak's
newest release:
AMBIENCE & WINE
Ray Jozwiak: Ambience & Wine
Please visit
http://www.rayjozwiak.com

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