(from Al Franken, Giant of the Senate by Al Franken)
". . . Let's say you went to your doctor for a checkup, and he told you this: "Okay. You've got to go on a diet and stop smoking. You're fifty years old. You're very overweight. And your father died of a heart attack at age fifty-one. You've really got to cut down on the carbs and start exercising." . . . Sounds bad. But you want a second opinion. So you to to another doctor. "Oh, boy!" says the second doctor. "I see here your father died of a heart attack at about your age. You'd be insane not to go on a diet and start working out. And for godsakes, quite smoking!" . . . Not what you wanted to hear. SO you schedule another appointment. . . . "Oh my God!" says the third doctor. "It's amazing you're still alive! It would be irresponsible of me not to send you right away to this well-being center at Duke for a ninety-day stay!" . . . Well, that certainly seems like a drag. So you schedule another appointment, and then another, and then another. After thirty-two opinions, you're still not happy. But then you see the thirty-third doctor. It's taken a while to schedule all these appointments, so by now you've gained so much weight that you have to go around in one of those motorized carts. . . "It's a good thing you came to me," the thirty-third doctor says. "I'm sure other doctors have been telling you to do all kinds of ridiculous stuff. Well, I'm here to tell you to keep doing exactly what you've been doing. Keep smoking! Watch a little more TV. And eat more fast food! Did you see Carl's Jr. now has thi sandwich where the entire bun is made out of cheese? You see, those other doctors are in the pocket of Big Fresh Fruits and Vegetables." . . . Republicans know that if they concede what climate scientists, the Defense Department, the Muppets, and virtually every other country in the world know - that global warming is real, that it is man-made, and that it is the greatest current threat to global prosperity and stability - the Koch brothers will spend money against them to fund a primary challenge. This goes double for Republicans from conservative states. They know from the experience of their defeated colleagues that the Koch brothers will primary them if they stray from the climate denial orthodoxy, and that the biggest threat to their reelection comes not from Democrats, but from being outflanked to the right by their own party. . . "
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