(from https://www.purewow.com/entertainment/mothers-day-quotes)
"I always say if you aren't yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them." – Reese Witherspoon
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." – Phyllis Diller
"A mother is the person you can always call to see how long chicken lasts in the fridge."
"Dear Mom, Thank you for keeping all the bad stuff I did from Dad."
"Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious."
"It’d be cool if my kids could make something I actually want. Like a bottle of wine out of macaroni."
"Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out."
“Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” — Nia Vardalos
“If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?” — Milton Berle
“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” — Buddy Hackett
“When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” — Erma Bombeck
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