Tuesday, April 12, 2011

I'm feeling dead. . .

. . . on my feet. I've got that stubble on my chin. Spent half the night on the job. I'm gonna bring that new account in.
There ain't no supper on the table. The lady knows just where I've been. I do the best that I am able with the limited resources I have in matters of the heart. And if it's coming down to minding my own business, it's just the business I've been minding; that I've been minding all the time. You gotta make up your mind. I always wanted to grow up shooting outlaws while riding on the back of a horse. But that just wasn't a part of the plan. My mother told me to always be a good boy. But I'm a company man. I do the best that I can. My wife and children will have to wait in line for my time 'cause I'm a company man.

This lookin' bad isn't good. The only answer is ignore it. A little pain here and there, you get some medicine and cure it. It's not that I can't take the PRESSURE. The pot is boiling all the time. It's only that I'm being measured by the powers in the boardroom above. They're always watching me. And if I miss an opportunity to make another, to make a profit they will find it. And it'll certainly be missed. Another cheek to be kissed. I always wanted to grow up shooting outlaws while riding on the back of a horse. But that just wasn't a part of the plan. My mother told me to always be a good boy. But I'm a company man. I do the best that I can. My wife and children will have to wait in line for my time 'cause I'm a company man.

I was so young and idealistic then. Couldn't see the trees for the forest most of the time until I tasted all the choicest wines. Saving money up for that rainy day. Promising a romantic getaway. Have I made a pact with the devil or is it just fate?

I was a child of the light. I always hoped to do the right things. And though they said I was bright there's still a fire inside me burning for all the riches I am missing; for all the love I never found. I wonder who she might be kissing in the middle of a cold winter night when left alone again. I wonder just what I would do if she would leave me; pack up the kids and run away without a singular goodbye. Why in the world would she try? I always wanted to grow up shooting outlaws while riding on the back of a horse. But that just wasn't a part of the plan. My mother told me to always be a good boy. But I'm a company man. I do the best that I can. My wife and children will have to wait in line for my time 'cause I'm a company man.


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Ray Jozwiak: Another Shot