Ah, the critics . . .

. . . gotta love 'em. . .

2012 marks 50 years of the Beatles. On Jan. 1, 1962, the Beatles flunked an audition at Decca Records in London. Label executive Dick Rowe’s brush-off: “Guitar groups are on the way out.”

Tommy Dorsey claimed, "Bebop has set music back 20 years."

Louis Armstrong complained that beboppers were playing wrong chords.

A prominent New York critic said, "Bebop sounds to me like a hardware store in an earthquake."

"He plays like somebody is standing on his foot." Miles Davis on Eric Dolphy

One critic said that Monk's music was "like missing the bottom step in the dark."

Critics called Thelonious Monk "the elephant on the keyboard."

Emperor Joseph II on Wolfgang Amadeus Mozars's The Marriage of Figaro,  "too many notes, Mozart"

Diana Krall is this decade’s Harry Connick Jr., Krall is popping up everywhere these days at festivals, in clubs and on CD sales and airplay charts. An adequate pianist, she’s a tentative, dry-voiced vocalist whose torpid, sorority-girl versions of classic songs barely measure up to hotel piano bar standards. Her eminence must seem like a slap in the face to vastly more gifted and creative singers, like Rebecca Parris and Ian Shaw.

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Whenever. . .

. . . I get to feeling discouraged, or sorry for myself, I like to read things like. . .

Every part of the scheme shows that this man [George Stephenson] has applied himself to a subject of which he has no knowledge, and to which he has no science to apply. (Parliamentary Committee 1825)

Far too noisy, my dear Mozart. Far too many notes. (Emperor Ferdinand after the first performance of The Marriage of Figaro)

I liked your opera. I think I will put it to music. (Beethoven to a fellow composer)

If Beethoven's Seventh Symphony is not by some means abridged, it will soon fall into disuse. (Philip Hale, Boston music critic, 1837)

I played over the music of that scoundrel Brahms. What a giftless bastard! (Tchaikovsky's diary. 9th October 1886)

We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out. (Decca Recording Company about the Beatles.1962)

These boys won't make it. Four-groups are out. Go back to Liverpool, Mr. Epstein, you have a good business there. (Recording Company)

I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper. (Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind")

They may be world famous, but four shrieking monkeys are not going to use a privileged family name without permission. (Frau Eva von Zeppelin)

He bores me. He ought to have stuck to his flying machines. (Auguste Renoir, on Leonardo da Vinci

This fellow Charles Lindbergh will never make it. He's doomed. (Harry Guggenheim, millionaire aviation enthusiast)

Very interesting, Whittle, my boy, but it will never work! ( Professor of Aeronautical Engineering at Cambridge University)

You will never amount to very much. (Munich Schoolmaster to Albert Einstein, aged 10)

Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge ladled out daily in high schools. (New York Times about Goddard's revolutionary rocket work, 1921)

Stanley Matthews lacks the big match temperament. He will never hold down a regular first-team place in top class soccer. ( Unsigned football writer when Matthews made his debut at the age of 17)

Why do you necessarily have to be wrong just because a few million people think you are? (Frank Zappa)

Failed in Business, 1831. Defeated for Legislature, 1832. Sweetheart/Fiancee Died, 1835. Nervous Breakdown, 1836. Defeated in Election, 1836. Defeated for U.S. Congress, 1843. Defeated again for U.S. Congress, 1846. Defeated once again for U.S. Congress, 1848. Defeated for U.S. Senate, 1855. Defeated for U.S. Vice Presidency, 1856. Defeated again for U.S. Senate, 1858. (Abraham Lincoln, Elected President of the U.S.A., 1860)


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