The late comedian Morey Amsterdam used to say that nothing is impossible, except getting toothpaste back into the tube and getting off a mailing list. I don’t know about getting off of a mailing list, but my wife proved to me that it is NOT impossible to get toothpaste back into the tube. Way back before we were married, when I first heard Morey’s line, I used it quite frequently in conversation. My wife ‘to-be’ said that she thought that the back-end of the toothpaste tube could be opened, and the toothpaste could be returned to the tube using a spoon or a table knife, then re-sealed. She actually tested her hypothesis with successful results. The ‘guinea pig’ tube of replaced toothpaste was caste in plastic for the ages and made into a paperweight, which she still has to this day, many years later I might add. Of course the mailing list is a different animal that has now evolved into a cyber-being. I’ve had mixed results with attempting to disengage myself from these things, so I guess it’s not really impossible, just difficult, and certainly not consistent.
But no matter where you stand on these crucial issues of the day, in the end I think we can all agree that nothing is easy. At least most things aren’t. Most certainly those substantial ones, like raising children, working full-time, buying a house, getting a job (for many these days), having a civil discussion on your political views with one of the other ‘camp’, maintaining calm while driving on the highway, reconciling your spirituality with the world, maintaining a happy marriage, dying and marketing your music on the internet . . . ARE ALL ANYTHING BUT EASY!
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