One enters this phase
Of a life well-prepared
When its time to just live
With less urgency; care
This step undertaken
Brings leisure; relief
And a gentle and calm
Kind of air
Now's the time to just do
All those things that before
Could not easily be done
Due to time (lack thereof)
But some care must I take
For the leisure desired
From commitments abounding
Seems to ultimately escape
"Does humor belong in music?" Frank Zappa once asked. I would answer, "You bet your ass it does!" A tounge-in-cheek look at loyalty and commitment . . .
Bar rooms sure have a funny way
Of bringing loyalty out in a man
Buy a drink and tell a joke
And buddy you've got you a friend
But keep a good eye upon that friend
Because he really doesn't give two hoots
And don't say anything about his Mom
His girlfriend or his army boots
I'll be your Blood Brother
By your side through thick and thin
I'll be your Blood Brother
Just as long as I don't have to bloody
My ha - ands
(http://citizentherapists.com/manifesto/)
". . . A Public Manifesto
Citizen Therapists Against Trumpism
As psychotherapists practicing in the United States, we are alarmed by the rise of the ideology of Trumpism, which we see as a threat to the well-being of the people we care for and to American democracy itself. We cannot remain silent as we witness the rise of an American form of fascism. We can leverage this time of crisis to deepen our commitment to American democracy. . ."
(inspired by http://www.dailyom.com/cgi-bin/display/printerfriendly.cgi?articleid=50695)
Dedication is essential to get things done. What compels such commitment? It may be validation from others who appreciate the amount of work involved. It could be an increased heart rate or an internal warmth extending from head to toe. Working without passion though, makes one feel empty if that hard work is unappreciated by others. The difference between 'work' and 'passion' is that the former is undertaken for 'others', even though we accept recompense for our effort. The latter is undertaken only for pure self-gratification. Passion fuels our desires and interests and gives everything else we do greater value as a result. Identify your passion today, your dedication to all other things will have deeper significance for you.
(from Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys)
". . . Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.
And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months? And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of.
And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months.
And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?
And Roger is thinking: . . . so that means it was . . . let's see . . February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means . . . lemme check the odometer . . . Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here.
And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.
And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600.
And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.
And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90- day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs.
And Elaine is thinking: maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.
And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their ......
"Roger," Elaine says aloud.
"What?" says Roger, startled.
"Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have . . Oh, I feel so......"
(She breaks down, sobbing.)
"What?" says Roger.
"I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse."
"There's no horse?" says Roger.
"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says.
"No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.
"It's just that . . . It's that I . . . I need some time," Elaine says.
(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)
"Yes," he says.
(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.)
"Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says.
"What way?" says Roger.
"That way about time," says Elaine.
"Oh," says Roger. "Yes."
(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)
"Thank you, Roger," she says.
"Thank you," says Roger.
Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it.
The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.
Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say:
OHO's
"Ocean City Ditty," the
CD single is now available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/oho4
(and, if
you're in town, at Trax On Wax on Frederick Rd. in Catonsville, MD)
My latest solo release, '2014', can be digitally downloaded at:
(or you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/rayjozwiak4)
. . . yourself as a victim
When you should take
The bull by the horns
Don’t let it happen
Don’t let it happen to you
The situation’s well
Within your control
Your grip’s more firm
Than you thought it would be
You’ve got to grab it
You’ve got to grab it like the
Big brass ring
Big brass ring
Drama comes nat’rally to you
When you lose control
Drama comes nat’rally to you
When you lose control
It isn’t necessarily
Required to happen
Cards may seem stacked
But you still can overcome
With a commitment
You’ve got to mean what you say
What benefit to you enjoy
From all these actions
Do you derive
Some pleasure
From your place
Beneath that Cuban heel
So far below that lofty
Big brass ring
Big brass ring
You favor being far below the underdog
To hold distinct advantage in the game
But do you comprehend the gravity at hand
Any integrity you may possess is
Well hidden from view
It’s up to you
How it will be into the future
No matter what has taken
Place back in the past
Yes you can do it
It’s no impossible task
You can be sure though
That it’s never gonna happen
‘Til you wake up
And see the
Spotlight isn’t always
Meant for you
But you can always catch the
Big brass ring
Big brass ring
