My registered political affiliation is 'non-affiliated' and that's the way I like it. I have learned over many years and through much experience that I just do not make a good club member. This has been true as applicable to the Boy Scouts, Church, Social Clubs and even music-related associations. It's not a superiority (nor inferiority) complex by any means. It's just that I never feel like I truly 'fit.'
Needless to say neither of the two major (read: MONEY) political parties move me exclusively or sufficiently enough to subscribe. But I must say, now that the mid-term elections are over, that I have no problem with Republicans taking a majority of the Senate, nor with my home state's replacing its Democratic regime with a Republican. Three distinct reasons come to mind as to why I feel this way. They are:
1. After such a protracted, politically contentious period between the two biggies, I am hoping that some reasonable Republicans (yes, I believe they actually do exist) will step up and help Washington regain its functionality. Hell, this is a good opportunity for a brand-new hero (or some brand-new heroes) to capture the hearts of the citizenry.
2. Also, after the gridlock we've seen, possibly some formerly narrow-minded Republicans (or even Democrats, for that matter) will listen, think and learn and even change their minds about SOMETHING for the betterment of her/his constituents.
3. This is the result of the democratic process and it really is a wonderful thing. Many countries do not have this. (yeah, I sound like your high-school civics teacher, right??) The process worked, like it has so many times before and will so many times again. And if the new majority proves by their actions that they really are not up to the job, there will be another election bringing with it the chance to make another change.
And although I shouldn't mention a fourth reason, I will anyway. . .should number three become a reality, we'll know exactly where to go to place blame and can take some comfort in the fact that we didn't help put them there.
OHO's
"Ocean City Ditty," the
CD single is now available at http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/oho4
(and, if
you're in town, at Trax On Wax on Frederick Rd. in Catonsville, MD) OHO is Jay Graboski, David Reeve & Ray Jozwiak
My latest solo release, '2014' of original, instrumental piano music, can be downloaded digitally at:
(or you can copy-and-paste this URL directly to
your browser: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/rayjozwiak4)
I know I’m basically not much different from anybody else; not terribly special; not too good but not too bad either. But even as I look around and feel as though I look like and act like everybody around me, I still feel like I'm different. Something’s wrong. Something is unusual and I just can’t seem to put a finger on it.
I've felt this way for most of my life. During adolescence I thought I didn't belong; that I was something of an outcast. I had friends. But I didn't belong to, or at least I felt like I didn't belong to the 'group' at least the 'group' to which I wanted to belong.
I learned at the end of high school that being an outsider wasn't necessarily a bad thing. I slowly began to realize that I didn't need to belong to anything. I certainly did not need to belong to anything to which I didn't want to belong or to anything where the members did not want me to belong.
And now it's not so much a matter of belonging to anything, it's more a matter of my perceptions, observations, analyses and choices. Now I like being different.
. . . like you don't belong; at least you don't belong to many things? You have belonged to some things which you later learned you would rather not. But you suppose that's simply a matter of your maturation process.
You feel like you're pretending; like you're playing charades; like you're going through the motions. You want to put your heart and soul into the things you do during the preponderance of your waking hours. But you simply can't. You're not cheating anybody; you are devoting yourself to your daily tasks to the best of your abilities.
But you cannot deceive your own heart. You can't pretend to love what you do not love. You may do a respectable job of deceiving or deflecting any suspicion; but you cannot pretend. That's not to say that you are insincere or calculating. You are honest, conscientious and devoted. In a 'fair' supply and demand situation, you will (and do) deliver.
But how many are able to devote their waking hours to the pursuit of their heart's desire and provide for all the physical needs at the same time? NOT MANY! That you truly believe.
You feel the daily stresses of life just like anyone else. You have your responsibilities and do not want to run from them. You embrace your responsibilities. And during the hours remaining when your 'workday' is over, you actually enjoy true happiness in all that you do. TRUE happiness.
So it seems that you really are an outsider. You can't or don't necessarily express yourself very well with regard to this dilemma and have very few people to whom you can express even a portion of this and only one to whom you can express it all. But you think those aren't bad statistics. At least you're happy with them.
Ever feel this way? I have.
What
do YOU think?
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html
Download
your
very own copy of
ANOTHER SHOT
by Ray
Jozwiak
For a chubby little (but not to remain so in comparison with my contemporaries) boy who didn't always quite feel like he 'fit in', I was extremely comfortable and quite content with those other aspects, situations, or 'worlds' to which I would retreat when I was ostracized. Not that I was literally or frequently ostracized by my peer group throughout childhood, let me must say that I did not feel that I always BELONGED.
I had what I considered to be a reasonable number of friends in whose company I reveled many a long, hot summer afternoon. Timmy Buckley, from two doors away in our block of row-homes in the Eastern part of Baltimore County just past the city-line, my BEST friend. But I also enjoyed the company of, singly or sometimes in groups with various of them, the three Bodell brothers, Keith Smith, Jimmy Theiss, Joey Markwordt and on occasion, Ronald Weber. Never a greedy person, I thought then as I do now, that this was a sufficient number of friends. And they were good friends on whom I could rely for some good, old-fashioned kid-play. Later, in school, new friendships would develop and likewise some of the older ones would dissolve. But such is the way of the world. Right?
What do YOU think?
http://www.rayjozwiak.com/guestbook.html
Download
your
very own copy of
ANOTHER SHOT
by Ray
Jozwiak
